As a tribute to the criminal inventiveness of our beloved
scammers, with plots and story lines that would be believable
only in a Broadway comedy, we will post here the latest
scams that we are made aware of, in our exciting new
competition: Scam of The Month.
This Month's winner is "Jane Smith", supposedly from
the Maryland, USA and supposedly over in Europe at a
seminar in Holland. "Jane's" daughter has asked her
to enquire about - and to buy, mind you - about half
a dozen dresses for her wedding from sellers in the
UK.
Really, "Jane", how many dresses does a girl need?
Anyway, to give you all a flavour of "Jane's" inventiveness,
this is her reply to one of our advertisers:
"Hello Michelle,thanks so much
for the mail,and i appreciate you accepting my offered
price,i will want you to get the dress packed so that
when my shippers come for pick up will have the dress
picked up well packaged.Pyment will be sent to you by
an associate of mine who is oweing me,she will issue
you payment with a cashier's cheque of 5,100 pounds
as payment gets to i will want you to cash immediately,
you subtract the cost of my dress and send the balance
to my financial secretary via western union money transfer
which entails paing my shippers.Michelle,can i trust
you in having my dress and my balance as soon as payment
reaches you?,if you know i can trust you and you are
comfortable with my arrangement,i will need you to provide
me with your name in full,your home address and your
phone number.so i will be waiting to hear from you asap,Have
a nice day.
Regards,
Jane. "
You're probably asking yourself if these people have
nothing better to do with their time. Well, it seems
they don't, so tune in next month when we'll (with depressing
certainty) have a new winner of Scam of the Month.
Runner Up
Coming a dishonourable second with a confused and sloppy
entry is Mr "Pharrel William" allegedly from Sweden.
Hey, wait a minute: Is Pharrel a Swedish name? In fact,
is Pharrel a name at all? To us it sounds as unlikely
as his scam, which was kindly forwarded to us by a number
of advertisers:
"This Mr Pharrel William From Sweden. I would like to
know if your (Advert) is stil for sale because it has
been a long time i have been serching for it.
Please i will like to know much about it and send me
the picture is is available. Moreso i want to know your
Bottom Price, and Reason why you want sell and you don't
have to bother your self about shipping. Please get
back to me as soon as possible with my questions..
Regards
Pharrel"
It seems to us that old Pharrel isn't really sure what
the [Advert] is for. Maybe he's having as much trouble
with his scam mailing software as he is with the language.
Bronze Medal Winner
For a complete lack of effort and imagination, Bronze
is all that we can award to "Fred Newton".
" Dear seller,
I am interested in buying your advertise
wedding dress .I will like to know the selling Price,
the present condition and the picture if avaliable.
Hope to hear fron you soon.
Regards,
Newton..."
For heaven's sake "Fred", at least
give us some entertainment value; make up a story, tell
us a tale...something!
...and a dishonourable list
of also-rans:
1. "Wilson Moore" (wilson54@linuxmail.org):
Hello, In reference to
your advertised item listed above.I will like to know
the present condition and the last offer and my mode
of payment is by cheque.Do get back to me ASAP. Regards...
...yeah, we'll be sure to get right back in touch with
you, Wilson.
2. "Roger Thompson" roger_thompson@outgun.com
Hello,
Thanks for the mail,the price,the size and the condition
is okay by me because this will b put on by my daugther
who will be having is marriage in the next coming month.
I will like you to now that i will be handling the shippment
through my shipping company they will be coming for
the pickup once we seal this transaction because i have
other consignment to shipped in the Uk as well.Do make
sure you get the dress clean and i will be happy to
pay for the cleaning do get back to me with the pics
along with your information(full name,contact address
and phone number)so that i can make payment to you ASAP.
Hope to read from you soonest.
Regards..
Cheer..
..."Roger", we're not looking for Shakespeare,
but for heaven's sake at least a passing attempt at
English would be nice.
3. "Ashley Brown" ashley_brown@graffiti.net
Hello seller, I am saw your advertise
Wedding Dress and i am very much interested in it and
i will like to know the present condition and the price
wedding Dress. I will arrangement for the shipping of
the Wedding Dress and do send me available pics of the
Wedding Dress if available.Looking forward to read from
you asap. Regards, Ashley...........
..you've been taking English
lessons from "Roger", haven't you Ashley?
Well, never mind, once you get those pesky vebs and
nouns sorted out into something resembling the correct
order, I'm sure you'll have people flocking to throw
money at your feet.